It is a strange, stark, scary, wonderful, desperately sad, terrifyingly eye opening, amazing thing when finally seeing you’ve held inconsistent or opposing ideas that simply cannot coexist and therefore undermine and undercut each other.
Strange because it has not been seen before. The thoughts in opposition have lain deep below conscious thought.
Stark because it arrives like the shock of waking suddenly from deep deep sleep.
Scary because driving blind should be. Because such conflict has created life attitudes and choices. Scary because Thing A might mean there’s a Thing B.
Or C… D… E…
Wonderful because waking means seeing. Understanding.
Change being possible.
Desperately sad due to the time it took to see.
Terrifyingly eye opening because uncharted territory might mean running aground, passing through storms, a shipwreck or two.
Amazing because it is seen now.
Amazing because the wrestle is worth it.
Amazing because SomeOne cared so much as to show me.