I had a conversation a few years ago about how ‘small talk’ drove me bananas… one of the things said by the other person was that ‘small talk’ was actually incredibly important.
Imagine a world without “Hi” and “how are you”? Without chatting over the weather or other safe topics? While its true that I love deeeeeeep deeeeeeeeeeep chats, I’m so glad we had that one as it has given me food for thought and reasons to notice more detail.
On
the one hand small talk might be saying:
* Naff orf hairy legs – I’m not remotely interested in you – or
* I am employed to say this, I don’t need to be believable – or
* I don’t think you are safe
It
might on the other hand be saying:
* I cant go into it now but I like you and want to be polite – or
* I need to be sure if you like me before I can share – or
* I want to get to know if I like you at a safe depth where I can retreat if I
need to – or
* I know anything more might be too hard for you so I will keep it safe for our
relationship sake – or
* Now is not the right time but sometime it will be – or
* We haven’t quite clicked yet – or
* Things are fraught with danger but we need to stay connected.
Shallow is safe when sometimes you or another need to be within your depth – and also – Shallow is a passage to deep.