I would never begin a project if I knew it was going to take me five years to complete. For goodness sake, I’ve never even finished knitting a scarf!
Most would be familiar with what the words ‘colon cleanse’ represent, right? Well, something similar in a non-physical manner of speaking, is a ‘soul cleanse’, which happened to me when our teeny grandson came and went within the space of 22 days.
Bit by bit over the next few years, I had to pick up ideas and teachings one by one and examine them afresh – inspecting and deciding what to put back in and what to throw away for ever.
One of the things that happened in this cleanse, was the realisation of how much time I had given to things other than our family, which had cost our family. Now I’m not saying anyone can or should devote 100% of their time to their families (that would be a kind of idolatry in my opinion) but I became starkly aware that I had given away too much. And that it could never be re-couped. So, a resolution I reached was that never again would I spend the same kinds of hours preparing and studying to speak and share. Yes there is a time and place for that, but the quantity during my years as a young mum, was over the top.
At that time, the phrase ‘Living Words’ became real to me. I decided that from that point on, should I need to share anywhere, I either had to share Living Words – that is, words that burned bright at the time, or else I in fact had nothing to say. After all, a relationship with Jesus is something vibrant and mobile and current. So I would share what was on my heart or nothing at all.
When teaching the teenagers at church this meant I often didn’t know what we’d be studying till getting out of the shower on Sunday mornings. One time I went with notes scribbled on the back of a shopping docket but this was not disorganisation – this was relying on the Spirit of God to provide me Living Words.
It’s pretty clear that I love to write. A few have mentioned writing a book, but for the reasons outlined above, I never felt that I could… at least not at this point in life. Writing is like reading to me… I disappear into a rabbit-like warren until I come to the end and emerge. I haven’t wanted to cost my family that time. It’s not like I haven’t found other ways to let them down, but I have truly tried to be faithful to that resolution.
It came as some surprise to me when I wondered about making this book with the bits and pieces I’ve shared on Facebook, to see just how much I had written. I would never begin a project if I knew it was going to take me five years to complete. For goodness sake, I’ve never even finished knitting a scarf, so it has been a buzz to put this together in the space of both five years and one week. Five years to share as word burned to be written. One week between daily tasks to format into a book. As I said in the beginning, my prayer is that these words have spoken Life to you in your current setting and need
The above post was written at the conclusion of the publication of “Heart on the Wall” – a collection of these writings gathered over approximately five years. This will be available for purchase on the “Shop/Store” page soon.
