Thinking

Sometimes the thing you think you want turns out not to be the thing you want but only the thing you THOUGHT you wanted until you had the thing you thought you wanted and then the thing you had was not the thing you remember thinking you wanted but you couldn’t know it wouldn’t be until you had it but once you did, the thing you thought was only ever a figment that was always an impossibility, so letting go of the thing you thought and looking squarely at the thing that is, and appreciating the reality of that over the endless insatiability of the thing you thought – is what matters.

I think.

Miss 10 and a poet converse in the sun

By a string of peculiar circumstances, little Miss 10 found herself in a long conversation with an elderly gentleman in which the pair of them were completely engaged and the delight in their voices was heard even when the words themselves weren’t audible to me. I longed to be part of it but did not want to shift the balance in this sunshiny place so I kept myself at a distance.

Continue reading “Miss 10 and a poet converse in the sun”

Buried in velvet

I do love a time capsule.

I once read a story where a tailor sewed a note into the hem of a wedding dress that he made for a girl in his village – that he feel in love with during the course if her fittings. Older and a widow, she cut the dress to make a dress for her daughter and found the note. In it he had pledged his love and promised if she was ever in difficulty he would help her any way he could.

If your a hopeless romantic like me, you might be able to identify with the buzz of pleasure I felt tonight when I glimpsed a quality piece of paper that slipped inside the torn, mended, and re-torn lining of a velvet coat that I bought in an op shop today.

It turned or to be a ten year old twenty first birthday invitation. This girl would now be thirty one. And I was thirty six at the time. I wonder who she is. If life has gone the way she hoped it would. And I wonder what I was doing at that time.

It doesn’t have the same depth of romance as the story I mentioned before. But it is a tiny slice of some ones real life. I wonder what the next ten years will bring both her and I? But I don’t wonder a lot. I think we’re better off not knowing. I don’t want to live in entitlement of good or fear of bad. Both will certainly come and that is as much detail as I desire.

I wonder if I wrote a note and slipped it in a coat, if anyone would find it. Read it. Care.

Dont know. Doesn’t matter.

But tomorrow I think I’ll post this note back to the original address. It might make someone remember. Think. Smile.

Like it did me.

Some days

A few weeks ago I was kinda-sorta a bit not nice to Mr 16 who was giving me driving tips. I may have been kinda-sorta a bit sarcy when I said “how DO I manage driving around all day without you kids minding me?” (or similar). With his cute puppy dog eyes he implored me with a grin “Mum! Don’t be mean!”

Hmm. I actually was a bit sorry.

And then there are mornings like today, where I whacked myself in the schnozz with my hairdryer, and I wonder it myself.