I have been a bit ‘stuck’ on the topic of prayer for a while. A few months ago at church I became a bit un-stuck. As in, no longer stationary as WELL as a bit unglued emotionally.
I can’t remember much of the message right now but the bit that’s changing me was when Pastor Rod talked about ’emptying ourselves’ in prayer… this is different to other concepts of emptying self, but more about pouring out all our thoughts and words to God, emptying ourselves of all the things we could say, and then the change happens – where He can fill us back up.
Now I don’t know if Rod would remember saying all that, but it’s how I processed it. One of the things that has had me stuck is the knowledge that God already knows everything I think and feel so I’ve been kind of minimalist in prayer… but these days I feel like the flood gates have opened and there’s so MUCH I want to tell Him. Strangely I’m still not saying a lot as I’m stuck in a slightly different way which is the same as my attitude to journaling. I just know if I take up a pen and start to write it’ll be a 20 page entry… so, while my unstuckness has happened in my heart, it hasn’t entirely transferred into much more prayer time, but I am excited nonetheless as trying to change something that SHOULD be different on the bare bones of knowing why – but a lack of deep understanding – has never worked for me.
So it’s a BABY step forward, but FORWARD. And forward is good even when small.