Thirty years (almost) of mothering has produced a set of rhythms… they took a long time to emerge, a bit longer to be noticed and a bit longer still to be anticipated and ‘readied’ for.
The early years of having children is a massive shift on its own – but in the next few years where they head into school life, patterns emerge, are acclimatised to, other new elements are incorporated and so it goes on. If there were no rhythms, we couldn’t add keep adapting.
January for me, is always a month of thinking, assessing, planning and deeper than usual reflection.
February comes with a bang.
The newness that comes with first term settles in – and holidays come with pleasure.
Second term is the ”right then, let’s do this” term – and holidays come with relief.
Third term is the “far out – 5 seconds where everyone is well would be so nice” and the “I’m so cold” phase where holidays are stumbled over the line and collapsed into.
Fourth term is the “hang onto your hat, this thing is coming in to land” bit, where the pace is held till Boxing Day and everything goes to seed for a few days while I go into a hole and read till I feel rested and a bit antsy – ready to ‘do‘ again. But there is less to do – and the reflection/planning phase kicks in unbidden.
Two sections of rhythm stand out in my year.
One is how useful the reflection/planning phase is – but also how debilitating it can be – has at times been – until the rhythm of it showed up and by anticipating some hard thoughts, and learning how to assess their truth-fiction-necessity content better, I come out the other end wiser.
And another is the Third Term Swirl.
By now kids are getting sick every other week. Schoolyard issues are at their peak. Everyone is ‘behind’ due to time off school, slower – due to building back from being sick, teachers are on the downhill slope of the year but still climbing uphill in the content they’re meant to deliver, people are stressed, the power bills are high, the washing is forever not quite dry and winter sports are pre, semi, and grand finaling and then holding wind ups. We are physically, mentally and spiritually weary – with forces applying pressure in every area, which affects – no surprises – every area. Rhythms have ripples and their crashing creates turbulence* (see below).
This patch is where I learned to see the most fragility in relationships and the most things ‘coming against’ a sense of equilibrium – I used to actually call how I felt at this time of year ‘The Swirl’, I felt buffeted, a little bit nuts – and for some years – a ‘lotta bit’ desperate for things to balance off again.
And they always did.
… so in the swirl phase I learned to leave margin in my days and weeks, not to add new things, to anticipate for illness, to remember the swirl would slow down – and together, these things helped drastically. Things can still swirl, but I no longer feel buffeted… my feet are planted on solid ground.
Have you noticed rhythms in your year?
What have you learned from them?
*Turbulence
Synonyms: conflict, confusion, disturbance, instability, tumult, turmoil, unrest, agitation, commotion, frenzy, tempestuousness , unruliness
Antonyms: calm, harmony, order, peace, stability, calmness, quietness , stillness
I find the idea of forces we either don’t see or recognise a fascinating and insightful part of the puzzle. And because the physical can reveal the spiritual – I find these links play into my still emerging understanding.
Have a sqiz – if only for the pictures! 🙂
Seeing sound: Science of Music
Seeing sound: Cymatics