Sometimes people or situations teach you what you don’t want to be, and sometimes they show you exactly what you DO want to be.
Visiting a friend years ago, we were in his empty church where we commented on some of the placement of the high-backed chairs dotted throughout the rest of the regular. They were for some of the elderly in the church who were extremely specific about the placement of their chairs every week – and that was one of my “I don’t want to be like that” kinds of moments.
I’m grateful for having had had waaaaay more amazing (than teeth gritting) examples of elderly people who have demonstrated grace, wisdom, humour, acceptance, gratitude… and the list goes on.
The first of course is my mum. She’s loaded with quiet grace and has stepped around the most prickly of sorts calming and encouraging so consistently, it’s amazing. The only time I’ve seen her ruffled was under pretty extreme circumstances (Dad had been hurt on two occasions that should never have happened… she was MAD then! – mind you she wasn’t elderly then… though she’s turning 80 in a weeks time)
Another of them was an elderly lady in our church who I went to ask for her favourite old hymns so the music team could be sure and include them over the coming weeks. You know what she said? She said “Oh no Dear! We need to be singing what the young ones like!”
Another time I was chatting to a very quiet elderly woman whose husband was a pretty extreme extrovert – so getting to know him had been easy, but getting to know her had been harder. One day I ran into her alone at the shops and while chatting about her husband… she said something along the lines of “Ahhh *Jim, I wouldn’t want to change him…. [pause]… well… I wouldn’t want to SWAP him!”
Another was an older woman who had driven across the Nullarbor many many times with her husband and family when the children were young but in telling me about the year a particular daughter was 15, she rolled her eyes and said “well, THAT was the year we put her on a plane instead. There’s no WAY she was going to get in the car with the rest of us!” Oh I laughed at the contrast between her and me! I’d have set my jaw and made said offspring come in the car and well… you know. How terribly SENSIBLE of her!!!
Another is a darling widow who spoke so tenderly of having made love with her husband in their early married days on a long country journey out under the stars at night. Not a blush nor a twitter in sight… eyes sparkling in the delight of her memory, pure enjoyment and pure love.
These are the women I admire.
These are the women I want to emulate.
There are many more… But do you have a great memorable moment with an elderly person you can share?